Every day, I say "tomorrow".  But somehow, I never get to tomorrow.  

Like a Yo-Yo

     Up and down, and round and round till I'm dizzy.  Warning: this post is something of a rant.

     My experiment with the Celexa was a spectacular failure. I felt worse taking the Celexa than I did on the Prozac, and I was having very vivid, very bizarre dreams.  I went back to the doctor, but my doctor was on vacation (naturally) so I saw someone else.  This someone was nice enough, but it's always hard to do a med-check with someone who doesn't know me or my history, and I wasn't impressed with his manner.  He put me back on the Prozac, which is admittedly an improvement over the Celexa, but he also put me on Trazodone because of the dreams.  I took it only once.  Not only did it not keep me from dreaming, but left me feeling drugged the next morning. And do you know why?  Trazodone is used to treat depression and insomnia.  I am quite the opposite of an insomniac.  I sleep far, far too much.  I told him that.  And yet he gave me the Trazodone anyway.   Fortunately, I had a sneaking suspicion what would happen, and I took it on a Friday night so that Brandon would be around the next morning.  This was a very, very good thing, because I slept until 10:30 and then was worthless for a good while even after I did get up.

     So I called again to try make an appointment with my doctor, only to find that within days of returning from vacation, she'd been transferred to another clinic.  I now have a new doctor to get to know.  Yay.  I'll be seeing her at the beginning of September, so until then, I'll continue on the Prozac.  But, there's good news!

     The last time I saw her, my doctor put in a counseling referral for me.  I've seen my new counselor twice, and already I think that this will be beneficial for me.  When I was there yesterday, he referred me to the clinic psychiatrist so that I would no longer have to worry about being bounced around between doctors when it comes to managing my medication.  If I can get in to see her quickly, then I will just cancel the appointment with my new doc and wait to see her when I have a cold.

     Not surprisingly, I haven't been exercising.  I keep telling myself that I ought to, but then I don't.  I suppose I've kind of put that on hold while I try to get my head on straight.  Here's to being healthy, in body and mind.

Motivation Monday

Because I desperately need to be motivated, and I know it needs to come from within.

I have commitment issues.  You?

On Again, Off Again

Consistency is a problem for me.  I got in a few days of Shred last week, but I've been lazy the last few days.  I feel like a truck with a bad starter.  I'll work out for a few days, but I just can't seem to get my engine to turn over and fire up so I can keep going.  I blame the depression, my ineffective new medication, and the on-going potty-training drama in the house, but when it comes down to it, it's my fault for not following through.  So, tomorrow, I'll be back at it, and Little Miss had better not pee on the floor while I'm Shredding.

Motivation Monday

Sometimes, we just need a reminder, a push in the right direction, or some inspiration.  

Especially on Mondays.

found on Pinterest.

I only worked out one day last week.  Blah.  I'm needing some motivation and encouragement!

Motivation Monday

Sometimes, we just need a reminder, a push in the right direction, or some inspiration.  

Especially on Mondays.

YES!  

Goals, Revisited.

So, the last time I posted my goals, I made it only four or five days before falling off the horse completely.  I've climbed back on now, hit the reset button, and now I'm happily trotting down the path toward being fit and healthy once again.  I'm keeping the same goals that I had last time:  

Goal #1: Work out every day, for 30 days.  

I'm 5 days into the 30 Day Shred. My goal is not to skip a single day, so that if I do miss one here or there (because life happens) I'll still be working out at least 6 days a week. 

Goal #2: Cut down on sweets.

I'm a slave to my sweet tooth.  I know myself well enough to know that if I completely eliminate sweets from my diet, that I'll cave and binge periodically.  So, for the duration of my Shred, I'll be limiting myself to one small serving of sweets daily.

Goal #3: Make healthier meal choices.

More fresh fruits and veggies, fewer fried and processed foods.

Goal #4: Lose 1" from my waist by the end of the Shred.

I don't care about pounds, because they're misleading.  I want to lose the flab, and gain muscle tone.  I'll simply be using my waist measurement, taken weekly, to quantify my progress.

I'm feeling much more optimistic, now.  I've got the depression under better control, and it's amazing how much that one thing filters into and changes every aspect of my life.

Here's to being healthy.  :)

Get Motivated Monday

Sometimes, we just need a reminder, a push in the right direction, or some inspiration.  

Especially on Mondays.

I think this is doable, and more along the lines of what I'm wanting to achieve.   She's not ripped, and she has lovely contours.  She's a bit thinner than I aim to be (my thighs will never be that slim!) but she still looks healthy.  Now, to just get working out.

Get Motivated Monday

Sometimes, we just need a reminder, a push in the right direction, or some inspiration.  

Especially on Mondays.

from this site

I was close to that, last fall.  I can get there again!

Weekly Weigh-In...?

So, um, yeah.  I've been slacking.  Hard.

 The bad news is that I haven't been exercising.  The good news is that I have been (somewhat) careful of what I eat, and I still weigh only 114lbs.  I haven't given up; every day presents new opportunities to make healthy choices.

Get Motivated Monday: Memorial Day Edition

Sometimes, we just need a reminder, a push in the right direction, or some inspiration.  

Especially on Mondays.

I know it's Memorial Day, and a lot of us have the day off.  Don't forget to work out--you can run on the beach, do laps in the pool, play tag with the kids.  Whatever.  It still counts even if it's fun!

More importantly, don't forget to remember those who have fallen in the line of duty, while serving our country.

Get Motivated Monday

Sometimes, we just need a reminder, a push in the right direction, or some inspiration.  

Especially on Mondays.

I think I'll go for sore, but I'm not up for a Shred today.  Yoga, anyone?

Guest Post on TOBB Blog

I've written a 2 part series on (postpartum) depression for The Other Baby Book Blog.  The first went up yesterday, the second was posted today.  Follow the links if you'd like to read them.  

(Postpartum) Depression Part 1: Let's Talk

(Postpartum) Depression Part 2: 10 Ways to Triumph

Depression and Health

Depression is my own personal demon.  It's difficult to talk about, because I feel ashamed of my weakness.  I know that it's silly to be ashamed of it, silly to be ashamed of taking antidepressants.  Diabetics aren't ashamed of  the need for insulin, right?  Depression is a real illness, and it has had a very real impact on my life and my health.

 First off, let me just tell you, depression is a bitch.  It's a difficult thing to describe to someone who has never experienced it, but it is so much more than just a bad mood. It is pervasive and insidious, effecting not only mental and emotional health, but physical health as well.  I've dealt with depression off and on since I was a pre-teen, so I've also had plenty of time to learn to recognize when I'm sliding back into it after a clear spell.  I've learned to recognize when the depression is coloring my experience of life, my actions and reactions.  Knowing that intellectually may give me an edge in controlling my external reaction.  This knowledge does not change my emotional experience.

 I'm also well acquainted with how it effects me. It tampers with the way I think, with my emotions and how I experience them.  I have to struggle to take the ups and downs of daily life in stride, rather than falling into despair or flying into fury at the slightest bump in the road. It robs me of will, energy, and interest in doing many of the things I normally enjoy, like playing with my children or sewing and making jewelry.  So if I can't even muster the energy to sew a dress for my daughter or work on a bridal necklace for a friend because the thought of starting--much less finishing-- such a project is overwhelming, how the heck am I ever going to make my self work out? I like to cook, and I like to have a neat, clean house, but I struggle with those tasks too.  And unfortunately, when I'm feeling like that, exercise and controlling my diet fall to the very bottom of my list of things to worry about.

I've been on a very low dosage of Prozac for a few years now, and it has been enough to keep me on an even keel for most of that time.  In the last few months, though, I haven't been so even.  I think my boat started to rock as far back as the first of the year, but the changes were so subtle that I can only recognize  what was happening in retrospect.  I started exercising less frequently, and started forgetting to take my meds, which made things get a little worse.  So then I exercised less, and forgot more.  The whole thing is a nasty, vicious circle.  Finally, a few weeks ago, I ran out of my meds altogether because I neglected to get the prescription re-filled.  I kept telling myself I would take care of it later, tomorrow, on Monday, until I ran out of time, and even then I kept putting it off.  I spent almost 2 miserable weeks on nothing at all before I finally got my act together.  (God bless my husband for his love and patience!)

Now that I'm taking my medication again, I'm starting to feel more like my usual, buoyant self, but I'm thinking that it might be a good idea to bump my dosage up just a bit.  After all, this is what I was taking when I first started to spiral downward, right?  So I'll be chatting with my doctor come the end of the month, and hopefully, soon, I really will be back to normal, and one hurdle to meeting my health goals will be removed.

Weekly Weigh-In

28.5" waist (1" lost)

37.5" hips (1.5" gained? I think I must have mis-measured last time.)

113 lbs (no change)

Well, I'm off to a dismal start.  I worked out faithfully for the first four days--and then skipped the next six.  And that whole not-eating-sweets thing?  I seem to have forgotten about that one.  I have plenty of excuses: my children have been sick, my baby is on a 6 day (and counting) nursing strike, and I've been struggling with a few demons.  Still, they are only excuses.  Tomorrow is a new day; here's to making it count!

Get Motivated Monday

Sometimes, we just need a reminder, a push in the right direction, or some inspiration.  

Especially on Mondays.

My First Set of Goals

 Goal #1: Work out every day, for 30 days.  

I'm 2 days into the 30 Day Shred. My goal is not to skip a single day, so that if I do miss one here or there (because life happens) I'll still be working out at least 6 days a week. 

Goal #2: Cut down on sweets.

I'm a slave to my sweet tooth.  I know myself well enough to know that if I completely eliminate sweets from my diet, that I'll cave and binge periodically.  So, for the duration of my Shred, I'll be limiting myself to one small serving of sweets daily.

Goal #3: Make healthier meal choices.

More fresh fruits and veggies, fewer fried and processed foods.

Goal #4: Lose 1" from my waist by the end of the Shred.

I don't care about pounds, because they're misleading.  I want to lose the flab, and gain muscle tone.  I'll simply be using my waist measurement to quantify my progress.

I'm going to check and post my progress weekly.  At the end of the 30 Days, I'll re-assess and post new goals.  Along the way, I'll be posting other little helpful things, like healthy recipes that I've tried and funny and encouraging pictures to help keep us going.  What are your health goals?

Get Motivated Monday

Sometimes, we just need a reminder, a push in the right direction, or some inspiration.  

Especially on Mondays.

Go get sweaty.

My "Back on the Bandwagon" Blog

I was on my game last fall: I was eating well and working out 5 or 6 days out of the week.  But since the start of the new year, I wobbled around for a while and then fell off completely.  (I've been eating junk, and exercising not at all.)  Thankfully, I haven't regained any weight, but I have lost most of the muscle tone that I'd gained when working out daily.  My saving grace is that I'm still nursing my youngest, now 15 months old, but that won't last forever.  I'm currently at 29.5" at the waist, 36" at the hips, and I weigh 113 lbs.  This isn't bad at all, especially given that I've borne 2 children, and my habits over the last few months have left a lot to be desired.  But I'm squishy in places I'd rather weren't squishy, and the only way to correct that is to correct my bad habits.  

It's past time for me to get my act back together; to that end, I've set my self some new goals, and I've started this blog to help my track my progress, and hold myself accountable.  I'd like to invite you to join me in my bid to be healthy, by following my journey here, sharing your own thoughts, ideas and experiences, and setting (and meeting!) your own health goals.